There are only 2 kinds of folk:

and the difference they make,

the ones who give

and the ones who

take.

-Prince

Over the course of our lives, each one of us are givers and takers.

Character is determined by a sincere desire to give more than you take.

There’s no way anyone on this planet will be able to give more than what they’ve received.

Striving to give more than what has been received is the lifelong process of becoming conscious.

Everyone can become a conscious leader.

Conscious leaders activate candor and strive to be givers.

Unconscious leaders withhold and ultimately strive to be takers.

They take by withholding relevant facts and feelings in important situations.

These people think to themselves:

“What if people criticize me for my thoughts and beliefs?”

“What if I hurt others, and their lives become nothing but conflict and drama?”

Instead of being clear, these individuals choose to withhold which is not giving to the important situation.

Withholding happens because deep down these leaders are afraid. They are afraid they’ll lose the ability to take control of the outcome and the people involved.

Unconscious leaders are fearful they would appear odd if no one else is being candid.

They are afraid because they believe if they said what was on their mind they might look or sound selfish.

Conscious leaders face all those fears and choose candor.

Because they know if they withhold, it will cost them time and money in the future.

It cost them their integrity and this leads to a loss of energy, passion, drive and creativity.

It costs them their freedom as they have to pretend to be something they are not. Deep and authentic connections don’t exist as people will tend toward superficial behavior.

Withholding information means relevant facts and feelings aren’t shared. It will take longer to come to an agreement when people are consciously withholding. Information and agreements will not be trusted.

The best decision is never made and even more problems will come up later on.

In the end, more drama is created by withholding [taking] rather than by revealing [giving].

How to lead with Candor?

Check in with yourself and ask:

“If I were to reveal everything about myself and this issue what would I say?”

1. It will help to write this down.
2. Notice what you are revealing and withholding.

What’s coming between what you are saying out loud and thinking to yourself?

Welcome your fears and get curious about the situation by asking:

“If I were to reveal what would I be afraid of?”

What are your fears? Are they valid or based on selfish motivations like saving face and control?

Conscious leaders know that withholding is trying to manipulate the situation.

The true leader will welcome the fear and the wanting to control but will not allow either to override the truth and outcome of the situation.

A conscious leader will understand that withholding is costing them and their team. The cost of not being candid must be greater than the feeling of loosing control. If not, the individual will keep concealing.

Conscious leaders with candor ask themselves:

“Am I willing to reveal, yes? Or no?”

If the answer is yes, reveal [give] by letting go of being right about your view of reality and focus on resolving the problem.

Reveal yourself instead of winning the argument or to make your point. Then give by speaking your truth with an open-heart.

Remember, being candid isn’t bullying, being aggressive, or toxic.

Having candor is being clear and respecting the importance of expressing your views and opinions.

Once you decide what your truth is, ask yourself:

“What is the most respectful, kind and loving way for me to say this?”

Then speak up!

Say what’s on your mind and move on with your life.

Conscious leaders decide every day to be authentic and giving by committing to candor.